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Can you tell I made a big list of articles to write last September?
So yes, perhaps I AM nine months early with this article, but WHO CARES.
I’m gonna do a mix of plants with dark foliage and plants that look weird and creepy.
Also, I don’t have pictures for a lot of them BUT this post likely won’t gain traction for about eight months (gotta love Google) which gives me ample time to add photos by the time it climbs the SERP (if I remember) and it’ll be October.
This is a cool plant. Also, a massive one if you care for it properly.
The leaves start off orange, then go red (like, red red) and then go to a dark purple.
I’m unlikely to find one IRL, but tbh it looks like a big black erubescens – the same family as P. pink princess and imperial red and that whole gang.
Here’s one from Etsy:
They look more like massive spider’s legs – should call it Aragog’s foot fern. I have two rabbits and their feet are cute af. Not like this monstrosity.
I’d take a photo of mine, but it got aphids and looks like hell. It’ll probably survive, because you’d need fire to kill that thing.
Don’t look for rabbit’s foot fern on Etsy. A lot of grim people make charms from ACTUAL RABBIT’S FEET. Brb, off for a little cry.
Another one with creepy, hairy stems. Gross, gross, gross, but also kind of loveable.
I proper hate these. They’re cool looking, but the texture is horrible. Like velvety, but in a really fake way.
5 – Raven ZZ
A standard black plant, but one that everyone went wild for about a year ago. They quickly went from being prohibitively expensive to being cheap af.
If you buy a baby one, it might be green – they take time to harden off to black.
I mean, these things just scream ‘stay away, I am diseased!’. And this isn’t even a particularly diseased-looking one. Some of them (amphioxus, I talking to you) look like they’d kill on contact (they won’t).
Please be aware that editing images to make plants look cooler is extremely common in this industry. Variegated black cardinals look EXTREMELY COOL in pictures (think big black leaves with blood-red variegation) but irl they look a bit washed out – burgundy and orange rather than black and red.
You might think that adding canivorous plants to this list is a no-brainer BUT I refuse to recommend them to people due to their…complex care needs.
Well, not exactly complex…just different.
Carnivorous plants require different care to other plants and they’re pretty specific about their needs.
They need a tonne of light, boggy conditions (oxygen around the roots? We don’t know her), and VERY, er. clean (?) water.
You know, water without anything in it other than H and O. Rainwater is fine, if you live somewhere with rainwater that suits carnivorous plants. I have no idea how you’d find out if you do.
I’m going to leave it there for now – if you know of any weird, creepy plants, leave a comment below!